How I rediscovered my power & became the strong, confident badass I was born to be!
I’m Naomi, mum, nurse, author and all-around badass bitch, welcome to my little slice of the internet!
Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to be a writer. I would write stories then act them out for my Nana. As a teenager, I’d fill book after book with short stories. But then reality kicked in, I had dyslexia and was told that meant I was stupid. All my stories made sense to me, but to others, were just a jumble of misspelt words and poor grammar. I gave up on my dream and instead chased my other dream of becoming a nurse.
The thing with dreams though is they keep gnawing away at you
Every part of me wanted to write, to publish wellness books that would inspire women. To write fiction that would make them laugh, provide an escape and finally empower them to change their own lives. So I decided to say fuck it. Fuck my dyslexia, fuck the people who told me I was stupid and a failure and fuck what I should be doing, I was going to chase my dreams no matter what.
Which is where you and I meet, on my journey to become a bestselling author of women’s inspirational fiction and wellness books. A journey I am absolutely loving! From having articles published in leading women’s magazines to finally hitting that publish button on my first ebook. This whole author thing has been a rollercoaster, one I don’t want to ever get off of.
You might be wondering what led me to become so determined, a little bit stubborn and possibly foolish enough to chase my dreams? Let me explain…
You see there’s a high chance that you and I aren’t that different. You’re probably like most women I know, smart, kind, funny and gorgeous.
I’d hazard a guess to say that you’re constantly on the go, doing things for others and overall, living a pretty good life. Yet deep inside you have this nagging feeling that there should be more, that something’s missing.
Perhaps you don’t feel…
- Quite as happy as you should
- You continually find yourself saying I’ll be happy when … (insert lose weight, get a new relationship, and a new job, win the lottery etc..)
- Overwhelm and stress get to you far too often
- You frequently find yourself experiencing negative thoughts about yourself and others
- You constantly run around after everyone else, never making time for you
- The pain and suffering from your past just won’t let go and;
- You’re sick and tired of not living the life you know you deserve to live
If any of the above statements resonate with you, then you’re in the right place. Let me start by saying…
You are not broken, you are enough and there’s nothing wrong with you!
I understand because I used to be that woman.
The hurt and pain from my past filled me with so much self-hate, that I found myself constantly seeking fulfilment from external sources. Alcohol, men, work, sex, exercise, junk food. You name it, I tried to use it to fill that empty feeling that lingered deep inside.
For years I hated myself. I was angry, emotional, frustrated and lost.
You see I’d spent over 20 years of my life in abusive relationships. The first with my evil ex-stepmother who would abuse me physically and psychologically almost daily. At 19, I escaped her to move in with my then boyfriend. I didn’t realise I’d left one abusive environment and walked straight into another. The cycle of abuse continued for another 11 years.
I lost my identity, self-worth and my confidence was zero. My mental health was a mess and I didn’t know where to turn or what to do. There I was a mental health nurse supporting and caring for patients, teaching them ways to develop positive mental health, yet deep inside, I was a hot ass mess. I felt like a fraud.
It took for me to truly reach rock bottom before I finally found the courage to change
In March 2011, my life quickly went from bad to worse.
I’d separated from my husband at the end of January, but he wouldn’t let me move out of the house, he was determined to keep me trapped until I agreed to move back to Scotland. In an attempt to make me, he made a false report to my employer and the Nursing board in Australia claiming I had stolen medication. I was investigated and on the day I went to work to plead my innocence, my beloved Nana, the women who had raised me and given me the gift of kindness and love, became seriously ill.
I tried to fly back to the UK in time, desperate to be able to tell her I loved her one last time, but she passed away whilst I was in mid-air.
My heart broke into a million pieces and yet I couldn’t grieve, I told myself I had to stay strong for my children. So I pushed my grief down and returned to Australia where, after yet another abusive night cowering in my bedroom, I found the courage and the strength to leave.
That fateful day I played happy families.
I waited until my husband left for work, put my kids in school, then forced myself to get help. I found myself at the local police station with a family protection officer, then in court pleading with the judge for a Violence Restraining Order and by nightfall, in a women’s refugee with my children. That day was also the day of my Nana’s funeral.
It was the worst, most devastating day of my life
I had finally hit rock bottom, my heart was broken and every inch of me felt like giving up. But that night, looking at my two children sleeping, I realised I had a choice. The choice to let my past define me, to grind me down and destroy what little sanity I had left or the choice to heal my heart from the pain of the last 20 years and transform my life.
Rock bottom had provided me with the push I so desperately needed to take a long hard look at my life and change the one thing I could control….me. I made the choice that night to pick up the pieces and become the badass woman I was born to be.
I chose to get better and I spent the next few years using the tools and strategies I had learnt as a nurse to create my blueprint for transformation. I would try, fail, get back up and try again until I healed my heart, mastered self-love and turned the volume right down on those bullshit negative thoughts that kept telling me I wasn’t good enough. My past no longer defined me, I was finally me again and that gnawing to write got louder, telling me to chase my dreams no matter what, to live with no regrets.
Today I have a life I adore. Living in Perth, Western Australia with the love of my life, Brad and my two sons Cieran and Dylan and our crazy puppy Charlie. I’m still a nurse, but I’m also an author, chasing my dreams every day and never giving up on me.
Through my books and blog posts, I hope to inspire and empower you too to take back control of your life and overcome those nagging fears that may be holding you back. No matter how you get your inspiration, be it a self-help book or inspiring fiction, I have the book for you and coming in 2018, look out for my planner and inspirational cards! It’s going to be a great year. So buckle up and join me on this journey called life and together let’s see if we cant find a way to make it fucking awesome!
Why not check out the links below to find out more about my books or get some inspiration from the blog and of course don’t forget to come say hi over on social media, I’d love to get to know you a little better 🙂
Love & unicorns