Hey there badass,


How often do you find your inner mean girl tell you how useless/fat/stupid or ugly you are? You’re not alone. As a mental health nurse, I talk to women every single day who are consumed by negativity, anxiety, self-hate and fear. Nearly always, it’s because of the thoughts their inner mean girl tells them. The worrying thing is, this number of women suffering from this is only increasing.


Let’s be honest, allowing your inner mean girl to tell you how worthless, fat, stupid and ugly you are, doesn’t really help you. It doesn’t support you or empower you to grow. In fact, it does quite the opposite, it makes you feel worse and keeps you stuck.


If you want to be the very best version of yourself , you need to step away from your inner mean girl and stop the self-hate and judgement that’s keeping you stuck.


There’s enough hate out there in the world as it is without you hating yourself, which is why I wanted to share with you 5 easy ways that you can start to tame your inner mean girl and instead transform your mindset into one that’s positive and healthy. By following these tips you will begin to feel more positive, happy and finally be able to kick that self-hate habit to the kerb!


Get ready to tame your inner mean girl, once and for all!

1. Be Selfish

I know this is hard, especially if you are responsible for someone else either as a parent, carer or support person, but you are no use to anyone if you’re depleted and a mess.


Let’s use the example of being on an aeroplane to demonstrate why you need to be selfish. When you’re on a plane receiving your safety briefing, they inform you that in the event of an emergency an oxygen mask will drop from above and that you should put your on first before you assist others. Every part of me as a mother screams not to do that, but the rational part of me knows if I don’t, I may pass out and then what use am I to those who need me most? That’s why being selfish is often the most unselfish thing you can do.


Being selfish just means putting yourself first on occasion, taking time for you and doing something that lights you up. This is an instant mindset booster as you begin to nourish your own wellbeing.

2. Forgive

For most of us, trauma from our pasts is something that lingers in our minds. It may have been caused by abuse, an accident, heartbreak or loss, the actual cause doesn’t matter. What matters is that we continue to hold on to this pain and suffering and allow it to define us.


To create a positive mindset you need to let go of anything from the past that is dragging you down, the best way to do this is to start with forgiveness. Forgive those that have wronged you. Forgiveness doesn’t mean accepting what happened or agreeing with it, forgiveness is about letting go of the pain from your past and not allowing it to hold and control you any longer.


Most importantly forgive yourself for how you feel, for holding on to the pain and for how it may have impacted on your life. You deserve to be happy, not controlled by the past. Forgive and don’t let your past define who you are.

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3. Embrace Your Unique Self

Each of us has our own unique quirks, traits and personality that shine through and make us who we are. Problem with this is that many of us were taught as children to put a lid on who we are, to squash it down and hide our uniqueness. To instead be who the person society, our family or culture, expect us to be.


Today I ask you to be brave, to allow your true self to shine through. Start by embracing small ways you can express you, a new way of dressing, a splash of colour if you normally wear black or a new haircut. These small confidence boosting changes will support you to feel empowered and encourage further ‘wins’ by being the real you.

4. Be Thankful

I know I bang on about this a lot, but gratitude truly is so underrated. The simple act of expressing thanks for the things you have in life will support you to build a strong foundation for developing a positive mindset.


By increasing your awareness of all the good things you have in your life you open the door to receiving more positivity and happiness. It’s the simple law of like attracts like.


The easiest way to start being thankful and using gratitude each day is to take 5 minutes each night to write the 3 things that you are grateful for that day. It might be a nice coffee, the bus being on time, no wait at the checkout or your child telling you they love you. Whatever it is that made you feel thankful, write it down. You can use a notebook and pen for this or download an app if that’s your preference. The important thing is that you do it every day. Make gratitude a habit.

5. Remember Your Thoughts Are Just Thoughts

Our thoughts can take on one of three forms; positive, negative or neutral. Our thoughts become a problem when the negative ones, outweighs the others.


These negative thoughts can come from deep within our subconscious, a result of memories or experiences that we can no longer recall, or perhaps pushed down in a bid to squash their pain. Every time we have a negative thought, we further reinforce to our subconscious that the thought must be true and therefore strengthen the negative thought! Each time we strengthen these negative thoughts, we take ourselves further away from developing a that healthy, positive mindset.


It’s a vicious cycle and one that unfortunately takes some time to break. However, there is a way you can start work on reducing these thoughts and that’s by changing the way you see thoughts. When you have a negative thought or any thought for that matter, remember that it’s not necessarily true. Thoughts are not facts, there are not written in stone and they can be changed. This means that your thought of being worthless or stupid, isn’t a fact, it’s not been proven so it isn’t true. All it is is your opinion.


This simple, yet effective awareness of your thoughts just being thoughts, will help take your mindset one step closer to one that’s balanced and positive. One that reflects your true self-worth.



Try and implement these 5 steps each day and I guarantee that you’ll begin to tame your inner mean girl and start to create a mindset that’s more balanced and healthy. So why not commit to taking action each day and say hello to that new positive mindset!


As always, I love to hear from you in the comments below and please help to spread the message of creating a positive mindset by using the buttons below and lets support each other in shutting up our inner mean girl once and for all!


Never stop being you,

Naomi xx

PS: Remeber just because you thought it, doesn’t mean its true! xx

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